Punctuating dialogue is one of the more confusing parts of writing your first novel. It’s not something most of us learn at school, and it’s not something we pay a lot of attention to when we’re immersed in a good book. But don’t worry, follow these tips and you’ll soon nail it.
1. Learn the difference between dialogue tags and action beats
A dialogue tag is ‘she said’, or ‘he asked’. It’s something you can only do with your voice – so not smiling, grinning, frowning etc.
Sometimes a dialogue tag is in the middle of a sentence, not at the end. Don’t let this confuse you—the period is still at the end of the complete sentence.
“I have no idea,” she said, “why you don’t just take the money and run.”
Or, sometimes the tag might be at the beginning of the sentence.
She heaved herself off the sofa and asked, “Why don’t you just take the money and run?”
Remember – the dialogue tag is part of the same sentence as the dialogue, meaning there can be only one period.
An action beat is usually separated from the dialogue by a period and is always, well, an action. He barged through the door. He sat down on the step. He rocked the baby. See?
“Let’s sit in the garden and have a drink.” He opened the fridge and pulled out two cokes.
Having said that, (yep, always a catch), sometimes action beats can disguise themselves by hiding in the middle of a piece of dialogue. The action beat interrupts the sentence.
“I think”—she turned to face him—“we could just forget all about it.”
2. Start a new line for each speaker but not for each piece of dialogue from the same character.
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Celia waved off the compliment and carried the tray back inside. A minute later she was back, propping the door open with her hip as she manouvred the drinks trolley through it. “If you thought that was good, just wait till you’ve tried one of my margaritas.”
We know it’s Celia still talking so we don’t need a new line. Sure, there’s a bit action happening in the middle, but she’s continuing her earlier train of thought.
“That’s a nice photo.” Julie gestured to the family portrait on the dresser. She looked around the room, taking in the expensive upholstery and glossy wood. James put his hand on her shoulder. “I like the piano.”
In this is example it looks like it’s probably James speaking, but you can’t be totally sure. It’s distracting for the reader and could pull them out of your scene as they spend a moment working it out. By putting it in a new line you make it clear that it’s him talking and you avoid the need to add a dialogue tag. Have a look below.
“That’s a nice photo.” Julia gestured to the family portrait on the dresser. She looked around the room, taking in the expensive upholstery and glossy wood.
James put his hand on her shoulder. “I like the piano.”
It reads more fluidly and there’s no doubt about who’s talking.
3. If two characters are alone and having a conversation, don’t feel like you have to give every line a tag or beat. This helps with the flow of the dialogue and – bonus! – you don’t have to punctuate as much.
Julia perched on the end of the bed, careful not to muss the beautifully arranged coverlet. James settled into the armchair and kicked off his shoes.
Julia asked, “What shall we do first?”
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
“I think we should go down to the bar and have a cocktail.”
“Your wish is my command.” James launched himself out of the chair and attempted a courtly bow.
It reads much more naturally than ending each line with a ‘she said’, or ‘he asked’. Don’t keep it up for too long, though – you don’t want the reader to get lost and have to start counting back. I think six lines is about the maximum. That’s just a gut feeling; not written in stone.
The main thing to remember is that dialogue tags are spoken (said, asked, yelled, whispered etc.) and action beats are physical (grimaced, laughed, smirked, sniffed etc.).
Happy writing!